What if my spouse doesn’t cooperate and I want to go to court?

It is important to remember that in signing an agreement to engage in the collaborative process, you do not give up any rights, including the right to go to court. If it becomes apparent that your spouse is not cooperating with the process, and you need the security of court orders, you always have the option to withdraw from the process and engage in litigation – after having retained a new attorney.

Do I need an attorney to represent me if I select the Collaborative Divorce process?

Yes. However, your attorney has a limited scope in representing you. The representation is limited to collaborative negotiations towards reaching a settlement.

During the collaborative divorce process you and your spouse will be individually represented by collaboratively trained family law attorneys. The participants can choose any collaborative divorce attorney from an active collaborative divorce group. There are numerous collaborative divorce groups in the state of New Jersey. Typically, divorcing couples choose collaborative attorneys from the same geographical area in order to minimize travel. After you select an attorney, your attorney will discuss with you in further detail the collaborative divorce process and answer any specific questions that you may have. During this meeting you will receive the information necessary to decide whether the collaborative divorce process is right for you and your situation.

Attached is an interesting article from Cincinnati Divorce Attorney Maury White

INTERESTS VERSUS POSITIONS

Is a Collaborative Divorce less costly than a traditional divorce?

I like to think of the cost of a divorce in terms of financial and emotional cost. Usually, a collaborative divorce will be less expensive financially because you are not paying an attorney for multiple court appearances. When there are multiple team members involved, the actual financial cost may not be substantially less. However, there is no question that in the collaborative process, the emotional cost – for both you, your spouse, and your family – is substantially less.

How does the Collaborative Divorce Process work?

After the participants each hire a collaborative divorce attorney, everyone agrees in writing not to
go to court. This means that your collaborative divorce attorney will not enter a Court Appearance
on your behalf.

You meet privately with your attorney and the participants then schedule a series of joint
meetings. The number of meetings needed to bring your case to a conclusion depends upon your
circumstances. The meetings are designed to exchange all information, explore all options and to
determine the agreement that best suits this unique family. If there is an immediate concern, it will
be addressed at the meeting. Every meeting has an agenda and minutes are maintained.

The resulting divorce agreement, also called the Settlement Agreement, will ultimately be made
an order of the Court at the conclusion of the collaborative divorce process. This Settlement
Agreement becomes a court order.

Hiding assets during divorce

Check out  this is article on the topic of spouses  hiding assets during a divorce, from Janet Baker of the Collaborative Law Group of Southern Arizona.

Is Collaborative Divorce the best choice for me?

Collaborative Divorce isn’t for every person, or every case, or even every lawyer. However, it is worth considering if some or all of these principles and objectives ring true for you:
a) You want a civilized, respectful resolution of the issues.

b) The relationships you have created during your marriage are important to your future, including friends, extended family, and even your spouse.

c) You and your spouse will continue to parent your children together, and you want the best co-parenting relationship possible.

d) You want to protect your children from the harm associated with a conflicted, litigated divorce between their parents.

e) You have ethical or spiritual beliefs that place a high value on taking personal responsibility for handling conflicts with integrity.

f) You value privacy in your personal affairs and do not want details of your problems to be available in the public court record.

g) You value control and personal decision making and do not want to hand over decisions about restructuring your financial and parenting arrangements to a judge who may not realize what is important about your family.

h) You recognize the restricted range of outcomes and “rough justice” generally available in the public court system, and want a more creative and individualized range of choices available to you and your spouse or partner for resolving your issues.

i) You place as much or more value on your children and the relationships that will exist in your restructured family situation as you place on obtaining the maximum possible amount of money for yourself.

j) You understand that conflict resolution with integrity involves not only achieving your own goals, but also finding a way to achieve the reasonable goals of the other person.

k) You and your spouse will commit your intelligence and energy toward creative problem solving rather than toward recriminations or revenge—fixing the problem rather than fixing blame.

What is Collaborative divorce?

Collaborative divorce is a respectful and dignified process which supports your family's goals for a smoother transition to the next stage of your lives. Divorce is both an ending and a new beginning. The collaborative divorce process helps you anticipate your needs as you move forward, while prioritizing the future of your children, if children are involved. Through the COLLABORATIVE PROCESS you develop and evaluate options or alternatives while aiming to construct a sustainable divorce agreement.